Unfortunately, I am the patient. No license, no office, no capital, equity, nor much currency. I feel relegated to giving what I can to a lynch mob of persons unaware of their Trotskyist reductionist pogrom agendas or, elsewhere of their theological prejudices. Above and beyond the scatterings of the variably sustained exists in all places the primary industry centers and their currencies. I am excluded from all these licensure organizations. I say that only youths can pursue the pertinent licensure of their particular state. It is the only way sans the emergent capital of the subsequent class.

Walk down the street without your bionic eyes scanning and downloading the thesis of each passer by and you will see variability only in garb and certain pigmentations. Concocted tribalism of each proximal group seem the the regional secret society identities of this federation whilst all regions exclude themselves from all complicity in exclusion and prejudice. I exist without the context of any prescribed licensure yet with a disability check. I can neither rise nor fall. As such, I find retreat my only option. Hermitage with a domain and the failed delusion of device omnipotence has been causal of my fantastic metaphor of a Morse key powered by a blasting machine and linked to the internal grid using tree spikes and a butt set. For decades I have known myself exiled by virtue of crossing the Mason Dixon limitrophe. Some dialectical and behavioral schism has terrorized my arrivals and departures as though I am perpetually surrounded by mobs epitomizing a hatred for a proverbial “them”.

If only there were a federal agency with the power of a mind sequence singularity and able to intonate through the customs and glyphs and binary codes or meet with persons beyond the perimeters of the great machine… somehow still able to link into some central agency capacity for the requisite.

Population Mind Limitrophes

Intellects vary and our mantra of universal humanity seems offended by this. Yet, the intent here is not to theorize precisely on any particular individual’s inherent competencies. Rather, I just wanted to exemplify that one of my personal pathologies was always my sentiment that everyone inherently knew all that I know. Yet, individual people are the product, often, primarily of their particular circumstances, because minds are not socially as conscious as individuals are of their own existence.


During such sequences of life where I have been within my own particular parameters inside variable contexts, it always seemed to me that I was perpetually on the stand to utter a prescribed mantra belief structure definition set of the current place where I stood, and thus to perpetually present it’s particular paradigm. I never built an adequate defense perimeter for my own competence amidst my admitted incompetences; even given the realities of my mind’s non-instantaneous transmissibility of it’s entirety in the moment of the demanded mantra. In fact, it was only when I had gained my federal defense against economic theory’s totalitarianism that I felt any cloistered security relative to the demands of these mantra seekers effectively policing the variable locales of my life regarding differing prevailing theory.

As way of a comparative geospatial example; I doubt many people know the meaning of my Franciscan Tao cross decade rosary, though I feel they should. I very much would like to explain the map and it’s limitrophes at Anglo and Gaulish borders and within the holy land, which I see upon looking at the cross.

I mean to allude also to that it is during these days where it is increasingly evident that functions of biometrics, faith, politics and language are always geospatial concerns defined by time and proximal valuation of themselves, their defined place in space, and of what exists within or need be obtained or externalized by said systems. And, that these space time functions of systems or zones of place and theory also have their variably permeable borders, perimeters, limitrophes and ports.

To find the security within a known and practiced zonal system’s requisite behavioral paradigm, at an aspect of such, and thus to achieve it’s currency of viability, seems the penultimate definition of life’s object. Finding stasis within the theories, laws, requirements and customs of place puts a requisite demand upon finding definitions of ones own place, within the system as defined, and upon achieving comprehension of it’s particular parameters of there and thence a securable existence.

UMass Amherst.

University for me was endless information yet no money for beer or pizza like everyone else seemed to be there for. I’d been mind maimed by a US Navy veteran at Clemson and then my undergraduate advisors there had sent me from biology to the Christian wilderness of wildlife and fisheries biology. Trapped in thought now through the 27 years of my being a disabled American, I want nothing more than to believe in the middle class of bachelors degree savants, and yet I can not do so. It seems wrong to qualify for life via ample funding for beer, pizza, and frivolous sex upon, at times, dorm mate absences. And, with universities being devoid of sober courtship opportunities sans the malicious and deceptive rape cult practitioners of fraternal and athletic organizations, it is no surprise that the biology of matrimonial childhood structure: the family, is under attack.

Further, my progression from life sciences to cotton and loblolly was met upon my transfer to UMass with only its antithesis of ecophile laissez faire avoidance of such things as careers. Thus, after perhaps seven semesters of mortal university civil war contentiousness regarding the likes of disputes in regards to the term creek versus the term stream; I fatefully conceded to these bark typifying savants in belief that I could graduate with life ahead of me in perhaps another year. I had considered the revolutionary leap to computer science and business and yet bureaucracy amidst the lack of competent doctors of trees had made it appear that the specified credit total for graduation would be nearer in accordance with my passage of the pigeon dissection ornithology requirement.

So, what of the environment and its vast unclassified and unquantified biometrics? In summary for this essay; it seems some unseeing and uncaring populace now gorges itself upon any substance which economic theory defines as being available. Contemporaneous to this feast of gluttony; a meek and near silenced voice from the the depths of the proverbial wilderness now cries. Observations made and documented are confronted by their improbability of cohesion, lack of scientific temporalities, and frequent impermanence; all whilst this geospatial ideation of the finite nature of the earth is so often being ignored for its increased validity now in some grand reality yet heard.

Suffice to say: the disputed world of “science” is here it seems now comprised of two minds. Economic theory presents its infinite theorem of capital accrual amidst newly acquired expanses generative of renewable and sequentially exploitable finite resources and the markets of populaces. Yet, economic theory does not like the term “finite” as applied to commodities, and, even citing physical goods and their component natural resources has become taboo in a world of infinite bitcoin.

There are new biometric theories now of how humanity might be viable for even more than another half a century; for our exponentially exploding global population currently numbered at over seven billion souls. We believe in all of humanity and not in the removal of particular sequences of our stated common evolution. Though this author frequently laments the regional omissions of such as a self educated elsewhere; it may be the USA’s federalist regionalized purposing of the states which will play the greatest role in saving humanity. There is for example no other Great Plains than in the heart of America. And, though fuels chemistries specificities for this grand systems agronomical and transport machine are the crux of conflict related to the aforementioned finite nature of earthen resources; the best and only hope for humankind must be nutrition and it’s distribution.

Ethyl for Hyde.

In Connecticut; first, and in the interest of appearing acceptably mad in a mundane sense; employ the gradient metaphor of “blue” food dye midst water. Then, dispensing with the pretense of jest, proceed with the experimental facilitation of a transformative reaction experiment amidst various solute concentrations of simple table sugar in aqueous solution. A brix refraxometer and Erlenmeyer flask with stoppers, thermometer and tubing are requisite for this experiment. The first objective would be to proceed from the dye concentration metaphor into making said table sugar the solute in a an aqueous solution, yet here also giving consideration to the thermodynamic properties of saturation within this glucoseic solution. Pertaining to saturation at temperature and to any corresponding efficacy of the impending yeast additive; also consider temperature concerns during phases of the yeast initiated fermentation process. Next, the experiment will proceed to utilize the essential addition to the Erlenmeyer experiment system and it’s contents of the vital instant or activated yeast in the water and sugar solution. Reaction variables in both fermentation and distillation will thence be regulated by the additional utility of the various stoppers, tubes and thermometers for the anaerobic gaseous water trap bleeding of CO2 and the subsequent distillation transfer of the resultant purity of ethanol from this mash solution along with plant essences to be determined with consideration of available local plantae glucose. Next, the flavorful essences of these local plant derivatives and their distillate ethanol derivative from selections of more complex mash experiment inputs will be made use of. These mash component mixtures may be derived prior to advancements in volume capacity above Ehrlenmeyer volume at the the here unspecified fluid thermodynamic Fahrenheit (approximately 200°) precision thermoregulation for the evapotransfer of the reactant: ethyl distillates to be distilled at precise purity from the aqueous and then fermented mash mix. This experimentation is intended for production feasibility of locally sourced distilled essence of fermented glucoseic compounds from locally procurable quantities of agricultural plantae, (or honey) after appropriate anaerobic time with that strange and semi vital, non nuclaeic, and perhaps somehow prokaryotic, gift of God.

Experiment components below are examples, with certain evident omissions.

P12″ Laboratory Thermometer

FastRack One gallon Wide Mouth Jar with Drilled Lid & Twin Bubble Airlock-Set of 2, multicolor (B01AKB4G9E)

Erlenmeyer Flasks Set, 3 Pieces – 500ml, 1000ml & 2000ml – Borosilicate Glass – Narrow Neck, Conical Shape – White Graduations – Eisco Labs

Center of Self and Soul.

Functions of efficacy seem to be a new clarity and calm centered aspect while I now feel I am beneath some additional burden causal of my being physiologically slowed somehow. At onset of this aspect of my prescription I felt a threadbare and frazzled feeling which has now abated for a weight the likes of some heavy Franciscan tunic apparition; like a shadow or fog. Additionally, a question of my vision presents as I keep what I read at a greater distance now.

Dry mouth also has had its onset. And, I, I am somehow reminded of the western concept of heart and mind in comparison to Japanese Chi and Egyptian Ka; all being theological ideations of the center of self or soul within the body.

Certain cultures or aspects of cultures have always believed that the seat of the self or soul is variably to be found in mind, heart, beneath the navel, in the testes, and even in the balls of the feet.

This metaphor pertains to my case, and I have mentioned it, not in consideration of Egyptology and the likes, yet rather in consideration of my intonations and oration. The specific physiology here is that I have noticed that now and perhaps previous to Caplyta that my speech and breathing at times emanate from my diaphragm, whilst at other times I speak from my chest or from higher in my lungs, as though a whisper. I feel that my vocalizations and increased dry mouth have been alterations of my condition somehow and that my posture and presentation of ideations through breathing and speech are now different throughout my pulmonary and upper alimentary systems. This includes a persistent slight tardative diskinesia in my lips, tongue and jaw perhaps.

Further, it seems that I have noticed variability in my perception of time. In weeks and months prior to Caplyta I noticed that my vantage from being nearly bedridden was perhaps metaphorically defined, in it’s relative context, by myself as though in moments I could witness the sunrise in the eastern window and after what seemed a brief time turn and view the sunset in the west. Yet, now I seem to notice my presence in my chamber or throughout the house and grounds as though the same phenomenon of stasis were occurring similarly and yet that the timeframe of a long day is now such that I experience additional depth of awareness between the matutinal and vespertine hours. This is not definitive, as I have frequently done much throughout my days. I here merely state that in my first few days of Caplyta I can, from the experience, hypothesize that I am feeling a greater sense of centered place; especially proximal to my heart and mind. My metaphor of SCUBA saturation and gaseous mixtures seems once again pertinent beneath my aforementioned apparitional fog and mist tunic. Peering forth, from this place, in centered clarity; I am more present within the weight of this my stasis.

Concord Rub Inhabitants

Ornithology and Mammalogy

In synopsis: Concord grape vines here are reminiscent of a transcendentalist wine which with bittersweet’s berries now ripening into precipitants from above are vines that have turned a symbiosis into a parasitic struggle for this Eastern Red Cedar. A male ungulate, levitical, has begun his rub; bedding down, perhaps, amidst a sort of warren cover I’ve nearly destroyed with a contentious sugar of phosphorus. And this buck; to sleep, perchance to dream by the rub, as the mechanisms of triumph fade from utile. Aye, aloft, the hooting call of a great horned strigiform has loosened not this olden vintage, nor mistletoe; yet, bittersweet? Evidentiary pellets and scat suggest the roosting pair and the rub beneath therefore to be, or not to be, inference to another solstice season’s fecundity. This; as the season of the rut passes, and that of the fledge approaches; once again. Perhaps the future story of this cedar henge shall be a nest? Horned pair contemporaneous to a rack’s loosening? Yet, again; no mistletoe amidst this vintage’s passing sweet scent, and midst tangled berries; orange, sheathed in yellow. And the grapes; a perennial pentateuchal derivative yet to meet a future press? Perhaps then to distill further to a here aforementioned cognac essence of faiths as yet imperceptible? It is, of course, possible, when and if another spring’s sunshine’s glucose readies within them for fermentation and thence into a distillate of their concord essence proceeding towards our transcendence. And, of the rub? Who… may speak of a lofty ripening vintage o’er such detritus; littered with the evidence of vitality’s processions.

Painting Nocturne

More paint on canvass. Earlier I mentioned that I seem to experience all criticism as variants of condescending spite and patrimonious sarcasm. Perhaps it is my own flat and mundane sentiment regarding myself, or, the two solitary decades.

In truth it is now 2am on Sunday, January 10th. I have been ill and alone for something like twenty years. This causality for pessimism only brings my failure into greater fruition. I seem to imagine the lynch mobs of my fright; emoting incomprehensibly as I remain incompetent in sufficient self reduction to satiate.

COVID Fantasy

I am, when hopeful, in fact asserting that anyone could smear and smudge similar typifications of rarely accurate symbolic forms. Photorealistic anything from actual to concocted reality has destroyed art. In that sense I value my palette knifed oils; so often mixed with sand and joint compound or elevated with wire mesh and wallpaper adhered cheese cloth before the oily mixtures.

A terrain in oils


I believe, most of the time, that my place in this world is for the purpose of serving something. I lament only that I have not gained a claim to be loved; for what I believe I have given, or for my accomplishments in such giving, of everything that I had.

Here, my point is that this fragmented self that I am tends to wander through the modalities of expressing that fundamental love and understanding; which I still believe in as the primary abstract premise of my life. Therefore, from this my modal truth; an aspect of my desire to speak and believe freely tends to seep outward as my word and art.


By some compulsion I feel driven to express, to the best of my ability, what I found myself bound to sacrifice everything for. Please do not dismiss my art and my essays; it is far too easy for both derision and patrimony to break any median stasis to which I adhere with the last of my hopes.

Now, I have only my retreat from the compulsion of force which drove me to achieve more of what I hadn’t wanted than I ever dreamed; and to break under the burden of my injuries. To have been trodden upon and punished in multiple theaters of a war publicly over has taught me that I am always the enemy. I can no longer believe in the universal or it’s factions as though omnipotence can be derived from a mortal vantage of entirety or an empowered constituency of a them or hubristic self.

Retrospectively, I would have chosen to marry. I believe such sacrament gives context to life. Increasingly I doubt whether any leadership or structure exists beneath our federal levels. I worry that a power born of transportation purposed for the establishment of our sovereignty over Eurasian tyranny has or will fly away from any concept of place. And, liberated as we are from the menial; there will be nothing foundational to the future of a new idle American proletariat with no purpose, requirements, nor device by which to see meanings beyond the glimmer.

Eukaryotes Begin

Prokaryotic ingestion or Eukayota? This sculptural painting is a taxonomic fantasy; like an ontogenetic specimen of a phylogenetic moment in the recapitulation trajectory of a mass of genetic material commanding a cell. Was the blue nucleus ingested, injected, or created? Will it find symbiosis, divide and multiply, sexually reproduce, or evolve? Virologically we see a command center which has arrived somehow. I know what I paint after it’s painted. I call it inverted cubism.

I believe the oxide of chromium paint suggests chlorophyll, yet, why didn’t I make the yarn and glue membrane walls square and apparently rigid like some cellulosic structural component of an organism within Kingdom Plantae. It would, after all, be fairly simple to apply this study’s deduction of premise to the creation depicting parenchyma; so much more advanced than the moment of the first eukaryote. However, it may be better these days to devolve from Eukaryota into the soup of stuff which existed before such complicated organisms as we see here in this painting.


My absent minded methods in my studio lead me to postulate that a proper sculpture shop would require the likes of chisel mortiser, compound mitering saw, table saw and band saw; a MiG, TiG and an Acetylene torch. Due to illness, however, I fear I might cut, burn or electrocute myself. Thus, oil painting is my medium. Yet, I invite competent and safety conscious persons to consider building their, or my, ideations.

Glue, yarn, paint.