Despair

Disabled now since 1994 or 1998 depending on one’s perspective, I’d like to use the word cloister to describe the static place I find myself within. Both a physical and cerebral confine, I have had nearly 0% success rate relative to contacting any friend or potential friend. Resultantly, the initial annulment, conscription and deployment which broke me and was followed by the poisoning and damage to my brain by a United States Navy OCS student veteran has now caused all of this; effectively a 27 year imprisonment. In that I have never served, I have only my $1050 per month benefit from the Social Security Administration and I appreciate not being entirely destitute. Computers have worked for me for perhaps as many as five years now and I have text contact with perhaps half a dozen people. Yet it remains exceedingly difficult to be so alone.

Psych Ward

I have deduced that either no one cares about me or that as a Disabled American and ward of Yale Psychiatry, the state of Connecticut, and my father that I am censored. Either way, resultantly, the near 0% communication success rate (almost total failure) of STRIGIFORM SCIENTIFIC since ‘98-‘99 has been so excruciating that I thank Yale and it’s pharmacology for placating my fervent desire to be free and to love despite having had my brain maimed by the US Navy.

In defense of the US Navy; it is true that postulations regarding my brain damage proceed beyond 1994 and are inclusive of congenital, genetic and behavioral possibilities. My brain damaged or malformed locale in my right hemisphere might be a birth defect despite my knowledge of the immediate effect of poisoning at Clemson. Also on my paternal side are two members of my family with significantly variable brain abnormalities/damage. A 1950s case of cerebral hemorrhage suggests to myself the possibility of vascular abnormality having been affected in my case by hypoxia in competitive swimming. I’m comorbid. My comorbidity includes various contributing aspects of extreme dietary flux throughout my case history and prior when a near Olympic distance swimmer.